An anti-car cyclist who writes nasty letters to oil companies and a vegan who sends scathing letters to meat packers are both annoying to business and wasting their own time. Companies who’s business is not with you are not going to care what you say about their business. Clearly, a gadget freak, even one who pays little attention to recycling or resource and materials waste, is going to have ten to fifty times the environmental impact on business that a whining little email writer will.

For every sincere and positive letter from a customer that suggests a way to cut down on waste, companies get thousands of nasty letters from people who don’t use their product and never intend to (they say it in their message). So, the next time you think about sending off one of those mass mailings to some poor sod in a corporate customer service cubicle who has to read it for minimum wage, try to consider the actual zero impact of your email and give it a rest.

If you are a customer of the company, just continue to do nothing to praise or improve the company’s environmental intentions or efforts. It’s you that these companies actually do want to hear from. To the roach point of view, you’re the dangerous one. You’re the one who needs to keep quiet if the planet’s to stay on track for its pending heat wave.

An award for Honorary Roach means that the recipient or recipients are recognized above many others as doing much to help dehumanize the planet. You don’t get this award for throwing a paper bag into the trash instead of recycling it. You can’t be considered an Honorary Roach for just dumping a little motor oil down a storm drain. It takes serious environmental impact and preferably a little screwing with other people to win this award.

With amazing skill and lots of help from the Supreme Court, Exxon has been able to screw Alaska in a major way—twice in twenty years. The first time, when it created the world’s largest oil spill which cost hundreds of people their livelihood and killed huge numbers of nasty insect-eating fish and birds. The second, when it beat the fishermen and other people injured by the spill out of their jury-awarded damages. Take that you pathetic disconnected state in a box on the map!

Exxon was reported to have made in excess of $40,000,000,000.00 in profit just last year (2007). The amount of profit it will make in 2008 will likely be much more. Happily for them, they can now add the money from the fisherman into the executive bonuses this year. (For reference; $40,000,000,000.00 is more than the total combined annual pay of 1 million fisherman. )

Congratulations to the entire Exxon organization for what they’ve done to the environment and to the people they’ve screwed along the way.