Their dreadlocks make it too stringy.

If you use canned vegans, there’s always bits of sandal that didn’t get processed out.

Lack of flavor because the meat’s too young and lean.

With fresh vegans, their big bleeding hearts make a mess in the kitchen.

You feel guilty eating them when you think about how they must have been raised.

The supply’s too scarce outside the big cities.

Still, God love ‘em, the vegans mean well. Trying to eliminate the agony caused to mammals raised in horrible conditions and tortured until the sweet release of slaughter day comes. These vegans have accepted the notion that humans are not the only animals that feel pain—and that pain hurts. If they ate some stuff to increase the fatty buildups in their arteries, they’d know first-hand what pain is. Right, Meatboy?

Pitch it in a bay.

If you live close to a bay (or any water) use it for your personal water bottle “recycling” program.

Stow it in a dumpster.

Dumpsters feed landfills and landfills feed global warming. A dumpster is a perfect place for your empties.

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Choking Planet knows that humans need clothes (trust us—we’ve seen you naked) and there’s no easier way for you to treat the earth to a little bio-destruction than by paying attention to a few small details on apparel. The rightful future of Earth may depend on how many of these six steps you form into habit:

• Save your money, buy cheap!
• Don’t limit your fabric options.
• Ignore vagaries like “quality.”
• Make maintenance a shopping opportunity.
• Make clothes sparkle.
• Wash smaller loads more often.

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Choking Planet explored ways that product packaging negatively affects the Earth and came up with this list of six simple things you can do to help it happen:

• Drink bottled water for bigger landfills.
• Support over-packaging.
• Get a free bag with every purchase.
• Value the package as much as the product.
• Buy products in convenient plastic containers.
• Buy “fresh” foods in wrapped packaging.

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